Wondering why??

You ever wonder why you put up with so much... I deal with a day to day bullshit when it comes to my supposed boyfriend. Put up with so much if I were to post what texts or quotes his words allot may say damn fuck wrong with him!!! All the shit I do from giving a person my entire income tax check to everytime I get paid I'm dishing out money from putting him first and forgetting about me because I wanna show him I'm here for him no matter what.. Afraid to talk to people because they were right maybe he's not the one, maybe the pregnancy is a mistake having someone treat you like dirt and it feels like you are never in a position where you can be happy.. Why am I happy for a few days then I turn around it's bitch this, fuck you, damn I wish we would have had an abortion... almost make me want too say WTF why are you here then??And why am I here?? I could have had such a better relationship somewhere else someone who respects me someone who is there for me and loves me for me.. I'm hurting because I'm so fed up and confused and don't know what to do anymore..


Till next time



Love Live Life

Stress

So today I was sick and feeling really cramped up in the stomach because of my damn roomate who made collard greens and put vineger in it but I was like fucking it up because I LOVE collard greens!!! So today I wake up bruping it and at the same time vomitting. So I called out from work fmla which is family medical leave act. It protects you from loosing your job because your covered but you don't get paid for that day though smh!! So with all that going on my job has been on me like white on rice saying do you think you will meet your numbers and I'm like a beast when it comes too sales. But now that I'm having a baby I be out of work allot with doctors appointments and feeling sick. So it's hard selling with the way the economy is to people because all they say is it's hard you kno and I'm like ok damit buy something lol...but I think I need to take a leave until after I have this baby and then I can be back on point like I use too but idk or maybe a new job god will steer me there but for now AT&T it is because all the jobs I want I need to finish these two semesters and get into my field teaching...

Until next time


Love live life

Pregnant Life

With so many mixed feelings pregnant life is almost depressing.. I mean Im so excited that I am blessed to have a child but sitting in the house all day doing nothing is what's sooo boring and depressing!! Because see I was the type of chick that was on the scene or gone somewhere getting wasted, having ladies night or just doing something.. And now that I'm only 3 months it's like 6 more months is like ughhh it's gonna be a long time before my life turns back. I mean I'm going to be with my child but with my family I will have the weekends too myself and atleast I can have a life a little lol!! Life isn't all about going out but when cant do anything and when you think about doing anything it's like oh you can go out to eat or movies that's about it.. That's soo boring lol!! But your emotions start to change and move into ways where your like why am I said or why am I so upset?? They say a baby makes you emotional but woow this is way over the top for me. Sometimes I want to be alone, at times I want to be held, at times I wanna cry, at times I want curse everybody out in my tracks!! But I just relax and just calm down because it's the baby.. But I guess as the months go on I will see how life progress but hopefully it gets better in due time...


Till next time

Love live life