Its been awhile

Be back soon with some ish I been up tooo.....


;-)

Thinking....

Ive had sooooo much on my mind lately.. I have been working at AT&T for about 3 months now and its good but the pressure from work makes you think of work even away from work!!! But besides that I have been thinking about someone that I really felt close too and maybe even close to getting into something serious but I guess maybe my signals gave the wrong thing and it turned out that they feel like I'm not keeping it real or I'm playing games... Its so hard for me to get serious again because I have so much doubt and like the song say Ice Box where my heart use to be... I'm starting to wonder do I come off as playing games idk...But besides that Ive been thinking of the place I'm moving into on the 1st of April... Just cause I don't have everything not even a BED!!! But I mean I'm grateful in all just wish I had some additional help...But I guess I gotta do what I gotta do.... So then I also have been thinking of my mom lately, She passed in 1997 but she never left me!!! I miss her sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH!!!!! You guys don't even know how hard it is to not have someone to really talk to at times... No one understands me or get me...some think I'm nice, kool, great person, some say I'm mean, flaw, or full of shit... I am ME and I never meant to give people the wrong idea but I just want people to quit judging me or assuming they know what type of person I am. I find myself in a daze sometimes just cause my mind is racing... I have been getting up at the same time every night 3:20 AM.... Why is that somebody tell me!!! I don't know what it is but its the same everynight GOD must be trying to give me a signal. So I been also thinking damn I cant wait to get me a CAR.. Ive been waiting on that just cause I have soooo much other stuff going on I cant afford it.. I still owe people money, I still got bills I have to tend too so life is good but stressful at the same time... I'm being positive just needed to talk and since I really don't have anyone to talk to I blogged.... Well until next time....



Love Live Life....

Sneaky Ass Fuckers!!!!

Sooooo I have been wondering why guys without the title still cant tell the truth!!! Damn!!! why the fuck is it so hard to tell the truth!!! You guys who wants women to be all about you but yet every time you bring up something its naw we ain't nothing....yeah right!!! So I am stuck on this dilemma because some say I play games... I play the same game guys play.. I'm tired of being played for a fool...shit gotta change... so I was listening to the famous John Basden..I think I spelled his name right lol... But he was talking about why do people in relationships continue to lie about things or marriages... So this lady called in and said she was married for about 10 or 13 years or so and her husband was on the down low for about 6 years with someone else...DAMN!!! and then this other lady called in and said she was married for 27 years and her husband just up and left THE COUNTRY!!! Did not tell her ANYTHING NOTHING JUST LEFT!!!! WTF!!!! I'm starting not to even want to get married...smh!!! But besides that I have been chilling and working my butt off so I move in on APRIL 1ST!!!! Hell yea look for pics of the finishing touches...Gotta paint this weekend get a few things for now and I will be in MY OWN SHIT!!!! But I miss blogging just be too damn tired and aggravated from work..damn I don't miss call center work...LOL...Until next time....




Love Live Life.......

Good Morning America!!!!

Well I'm up having my usual morning joint taking in the week that's about to unravel...So I been thinking about allot lately just because people are funny or shall I say interesting.... So I wake up to a text this morning saying "San can you put $20 or $30 in my acct today".... So immediately I'M pisted because every since I got this new job everybody think I got bread to give away!!! Damn I got shit I do have to take care of, I am still without a car and a home...So you tell me where to I have money to waste on other peoples mistakes...Now I don't mind giving my friends cash or whatever but all weekend I have gotten the same text but not from one person, several of my friends....Maybe I should have never stated how much I get paid....DAMN BIG ASS MISTAKE!!!!! So besides that I go to work at 3:30pm and gotta a test on the material...So gotta go quiz myself before work because I gotta get "A" in whatever I do!!!! Ya dig!!!! So see ya lata.....





Till Next Time....



Love Live Life.....

WHOOOAAAAAA ITS BEEN AWHILE!!!

So allot has happened since the last time I blogged...So lets begin lol.....

The after party for the concert and step show...(Iguana's)

Homecoming.....

So homecoming turned out not so bad after all...I saw allot of old and new friends!! it was kool seeing everybody laughing and having fun....I really needed this just because I haven't been out in awhile...I also was messing up the fish that my homie Peanut made big ups to him he can really cook!!! I guess that's why I missed the game too busy eating!! LOL!!!! But the night was good!!...pics on the blog. So I was really vibin and wanted to hit the club but that didn't happen because people got missing....LOL but it was kool just went to the crib and chilled....

So besides that I been working at AT&T now for about a month now time is going but hey its good!!! But I will be blogging more often just been in my zone....trying to get things in order and trying to get a crib you know...so I gotta stay focused and on the PRIZE!!!!...

Till Next Time....

Love live life.......

Busy B......

So I been working and getting that CHECK for real!!! So I finally am an AT&T worker!!! So I have been blessed with a JOB...As you all may know I was out of a job for about 4 months and I originally applied for AT&T awhile ago and they told me to start in January but things happened and wasn't able to start until Feb 2, 2009!!! So I finally get my foot and the door and now in training for the next 8 wks so I really be tired and sleepy after work so I will get to blogging when ever I get a chance...But everything is getting lined up and I about to explode...I wrote a blog before stating Ima BEAST out here!!! I still am and I about to be ob POINT like an arrow...No one can stop me from doing me and getting where I need to be...Life is good!!! GOD is good!!!!!!

Till Next Time.....

Love Live Life......

Scared.....

Have you ever been just scared of how your love life will end up...For years I have always admired the relationships that my friends have that LAST...lol just cause I feel like I have this 2 year curse!!! Like before I just went plain ole single for about 3 and half years now...I was in a serious relationship and we lived together but it only lasted for 2 years...And 2 years before that I was in relationship and it didn't last...So I woke up this morning just wondering when the hell will I have a man when I'm 30 LOL....But I don't wanna rush it but when you think your on a hiatus of the breaking point of what you want they seem to change your mind about things...Ever thought you were in love with your friend?? Well sometimes I am afraid and scared to love him because all he will do is hurt me...I know allot about him and sometimes hearing the conversations he may have with others...is heart breaking because he talks a good game about not really talking to anyone like that...But for you to tell ya "home girl" I love you....more than once!!! Its fishy to me...I understand we tell our friends I love you and shit like that but shit I'm questioning that because the person he is telling it to is a female that is IN LOVE with him!!! So mmmm I wonder...But I wake up so angry at times because I'm fed up with trying with guys...I try hard to be that woman every man wants but I cant force it...I guess I don't need him in my life and maybe let others in and enjoy what a real man is about...A real man and a man that's ALLL mine I don't have to doubt that he is mine!!! But I guess it is what it is...I just haven't been in anything serious in awhile...things kinda get scary and lonely...you call other guys to try and see if they are the one but you get the cold shoulder from them...But you cant get mad cause he ain't ya man either....I don't kno...I think I am getting mixed signals from allot of people...and maybe its time for me to back away and see if they will draw into me..lol well see if I exist....




Till Next Time......


Love Live Life.....