Why???????????????

My life has always resorted to that question why? I always try to be the best at whatever I do or try to be that person that you love to hate lol...But no on a serious note I have been trying to let go of someone and I official have moved on but thought I was gonna be able to move onto what I wanted. And that was to be happy and be treated the way I have always wanted BEING APPRECIATED!!!! Today was mad crazy for me....first I get to my interview and there is a crime sence unit outside of the office and they closed the entire floor off which was where my interview was...smh!!! So OK no sweat they will reschedule so that's cool...I also dropped off a resume to a hotel being built so that was a good thing also but yet not satisfying because I wasn't hired....smh!!! But I also went by an agency and asked about positions they may have but they had none...So I cancelled my lunch time with a friend to go to an agency that didn't have anything but when talking to someone over the phone they made it seem as if they had jobs like TODAY available but they didn't...So that sucks missed my lunch date and no jobs this sucks!!! So I finally get the nerve to do my presentation today which went good I got a "B" I was nervous but I did it!!! Even though I was so uncomfrontable in this damn skirt suit and stockings...LOL...But after the presentation I saw something I didn't want to see.... I saw someone that I think is potential speaking to his ex...Now mind you I could not see from a far so I pissed and said "whats up black"? and all I got was whats up homey.....smh!!! damn what the hell!!!!!!! I didn't think I was gonna get that response and I cant believe I was kinda jealous but not in a way because I knew the day would come again..... Now this is my whole thing HISTORY OUT PLAYS ANYTHING NEW!!!!! And I want everybody to know that because as much as we new chicks to these niggaz, as soon as the old bitch comes back its off with you and in with HER!!! Damn that's fucked up.....This is why my guard stay up for sooooo long with guys because I feel as soon as I let up I get dissed!!!! But its cool no love lost!!! Still care but just cautions to allot of things now and now my mind is racing with thoughts of different things.......Should I be the same or should I go back to being the friend and not going further...I don't know my head hurts with dumb shit that I don't need to be focused on right now......


Till next time....


Love Live Life